Here was a generous man who had laid down his life for God and his people, and the first thing that struck me about him was his gentleness. He was a patient listener. He listened with his heart, and he answered with his heart. I could be totally free with him for I was certain that before such a man, I had nothing to fear. He always made me feel as if I could share with him anything and he would understand. He would never judge and nothing I had to tell him could ever shock or surprise him.
In fact, this most significant Catholic had this wonderful openness that invited me to bare my soul and trust that God would minister to me through him. Yes, I am speaking of a Jesuit priest, Fr Iker. As he was my Retreat Master and spiritual father for several years, I would say that he was someone with whom I shared everything about my life. Having understood the fact that a Spiritual Director is God’s gift to those who love him and desire to seek his will, I was able to benefit greatly in my many encounters, including my 30-day retreat in 2002, with Fr Iker.
It has often been said that a person’s true character comes out in his unguarded moments. I witnessed this for myself. I remember once how I had helped to prepare for Mass. There were two cruets, one for water and one for wine. As I was not familiar, I did not realise that there was a red marking for the one that was to hold wine. At the Mass, after the consecration, Fr Iker realised that he had consecrated water and not wine. I clearly saw him taking a sniff to make doubly sure that it really was not wine that he was holding in his hand. Meanwhile, in my mind and in my heart, I was a bit disturbed. Oh dear, what have I done? I almost expected Fr Iker to turn and ask who the culprit was. But he did no such thing. He was too kind, too merciful.
Calmly Fr Iker explained that there had been a mix up of the water and the wine and that it was appropriate for him, according to canon law, to do the consecration all over again. What happened at the end? When Mass was over and all of us were still sitting in the semi circle, I raised my hand and admitted that I had caused the mix up. I clearly told him, “Fr, I’m sorry. It’s my fault.” Fr Iker smiled and very gently dismissed my remark. I was overwhelmed.
My friends who were with me at Mass were impressed. Some retreatants had told us how strict Fr Iker was. I had expected a scolding but received none. I had expected a rebuff but a smile was given me instead. At that point in time, I saw our Lord Jesus in Fr Iker. Yes, this is the other Christ, gentle and loving. It was a genuine mistake. He accepted it and forgave quickly. My respect for him went up a hundredfold! This incident struck me because, if I had been in his position, I would not have kept silence. I would have reacted somehow. But Fr Iker did not. He taught me that mistakes are mistakes and that I needed to be quick to forgive.
Like good vintage wine that tastes greater with age, so was Fr Iker a person of wisdom. He had had years of listening to the deepest yearnings of the human soul. He had spent his entire life helping many young men and women to discern their vocations.
Fr Iker has made a deep impression on my mind. He was a down to earth person who lived frugally. His homilies were all hand written on recycled paper. He wore second hand shirts, handed down by his brother in law. Once he told me that the retreat centre would be kept simple. In all my conversations with him, I saw for myself how I too must be true to my own calling as a lay consecrated, to live out the vows simply and faithfully.
In the years to follow and through many more retreats when we shared and sought the will of God, I was to see further evidence of His top priority in life. He never failed to impress upon me the need to seek God’s will and to carry it out joyfully. He mentioned once that even if one ended up sick or in a wheel chair, one could still do the Lord’s will with acceptance, and indeed, this was what he did in the final months of his life on earth.
Fr Iker never failed to impress upon me that the most important relationship one could ever have was with God, and if one had a good relationship with God, one would then be more likely to love others. And I saw for myself how he treated his staff – the secretary, the gardener, the cook and the helpers. His workers at the Retreat Centre stayed on for years for Fr Iker was a champion of social justice and peace as well. He used to tell us retreatants from Singapore that the food from the kitchen tasted so good because his cooks had one very important ingredient – Love.
Yes, this very special Catholic in my life lives on. I still smile when I think of the times I would call to him, “Father…” Instead of answering me, he would smile and say, “Yes, Mother?” It took me quite a while before I would agree to call him simply Iker. I did it because it had become our personal joke. Another point I will never forget is the way Fr Iker would show total detachment. He would usually say, “And so what?” Hearing him say those words with such abandonment gave one a good feeling. He believed that one has to keep living in the freedom of life in the Spirit.
When Fr Iker fell ill, I wrote him some words of consolation. But what he told me in return was that a little suffering was good for the soul. He never complained. He never grumbled. He took it all in his stride. At his own last retreat, it seemed that the Lord had impressed upon him that all was passing, including people. His own personal sharing continues to make an impact on me and every now and then, his words of wisdom come to my mind. I go through my retreat journals and I see how the Lord had used him to guide me through the years. I am so thankful for those years!
His last days saw him cheerful and resigned to the will of God. I was privileged to spend five days with him in 2006 and I saw for myself that nothing, not sickness, not pain, could defeat a man who loved the Lord. He asked only for prayers. And in the end he went home peacefully. He had given his life to God, serving as a priest for more than sixty years, touching the lives of many and giving each one Christ himself. May he rest in peace!
