On this day I thank and praise God together with all my companions in the Company of St Ursula all over the world. I rejoice with all my sisters and with all the ecclesiastical assistants (priests) and seek the grace of God for all of us to persevere and to grow in holiness of life.

Thank God for calling us to be people of hope. In a world of astounding materialism, over-activity, noise pollution, a thirst for power and self-glorification and many fears and worries, may God bless us to continue to live out our vocations with joy. May we remain a sign of hope for we have found meaning in our  lives and we are willing to stand in the narrow places and have our sinfulness revealed. We do this so that God’s love for us can be even more deeply understood, accepted and revealed to all who need him.

St Angela assures us that she is present in our midst to intercede for us. So, let us  be consoled. Let us keep our faith. Let our hope remain alive. Let those who come into our lives experience also the mercy of God bestowed unceasingly upon us.

Be praised, dearest Lord Jesus! Be praised, Almighty God and Prince of Peace! Be exalted, O God, and let your glory be over all the earth!

 * Our spiritual journey is expressed in a continuous tension towards Christ (Const.  4.1)

* Chosen to be the true and virginal spouses of the Son of God.  (Rule Pro. 7)

*   And have a firm intention to serve God in this way of life (Rule 1.2)

* Receive my every thought, word and deed, everything that is mine finally, both interior and exterior (Rule 5.40-41)

* And in God he has all his wealth, and apart from God sees himself to be completely poor and a total nothing, and with God to have everything (Rule 10.6)

* Let them have Jesus Christ for their only treasure (Counsels 5.43)

Reflection:  A continuous tension towards Christ…true and virginal spouses of Jesus Christ……to serve God…..all for God…..the only good and unique treasure….

 It is a very special and intense relationship with God. Can I try to reflect on my relationship with God, the means that the world, the Church and the Company offers me?

Yes, my journey in the spiritual life is indeed a continuous tension towards Christ. He is the reason for my life – and the efforts I make each day in my struggle to take up my cross and obey his commandment to love. I am grateful for the gift of my vocation – the vocation of all baptised Christians, called to live a life of holiness, a life of deep faith in the goodness of God. I am striving to the best of my ability each morning when I report for service to the Lord that I may have the grace to serve with joy and with love. I pray that our Lord, ever so merciful, gives me the grace I need. Without his grace, I can do nothing. On him alone I place my complete dependence. Apart from him, I have no one. Thank you Jesus for who you are.

The world with its beauty and also its pain and ugliness remind me constantly how we are one family. It is the human kind. It is the human family – humans as distinct from animals. There is always this need for us to look out for one another and to stretch a hand out to the needy, the marginalised. I may not be able to help financially but I can certainly offer up prayers for those afflicted, and for my fellow Catholics who are being persecuted for their faith.

The Church is one and it is united through the Pope whose message comes to each of us loudly and clearly via the internet, and other means of communication. Closer home, the archdiocese seeks to do its best for us Catholics, and on my part, I try to be faithful in my duties as a Catholic, as a sister to my fellow Catholics, to care, to share. I make an effort to join in days of recollections and holy hours, to attend daily Mass and to make use of the sacraments to deepen my faith life.

The Company gives me ample opportunities to keep in touch with my sisters in other lands. Emails and phone calls are means to keep in touch; so too the blogs and websites that we have set up to share our thoughts and our ideas. The literatures that I receive are also good means of uniting us as one.

Tomorrow, 27 January 2012, those of us who have made our vows on this day renew them in our own ways,  and we can all thank God for such happy memories. We thank God too that we are able to come together to share our lives. How marvellous a thought it is – tomorrow, all over the world, all Ursulines will be celebrating the Feast Day of our Foundress, St Angela Merici. For myself I will recall my own solemn profession too and thank God for sustaining me through one more year. St Angela has said that to join the Company is one thing but to follow through joyfully demands perseverance and much prayer and sacrifices. I know that this is a struggle for everyone, no matter what our vocations in life are, and so it is with such thoughts that I lift my heart and mind once again to our Lord and say:

Thank you Father God for the gift of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is your only begotten Son yet you have sent Him to save us. May we grow to know Him more deeply, love Him more intensely and sincerely live up to the calling that has been given us. Perhaps it is not wrong to say that each of us continue to seek and to find the best way we can to live fully our vocation. May you guide us and strengthen us. May you direct our paths through the wonderful Holy Spirit, our Helper, our Comforter. Let your love, peace and joy reign in the hearts of all Ursulines in the world, and may those Ursulines whom you have summoned home rest in peace. Amen.

Pussy willows as God made them are white in colour. These that you see here in the photograph above have been dyed red which is a colour favoured by Chinese people especially on festive occasions like the Chinese New Year. This morning, even as I prayed for all Chinese all over the world celebrating the Lunar New Year, I could not help  but think of the lesson I learnt the afternoon I came home with these pussy willows. I had, on an impulse perhaps, bought them. At the flower garden I  saw only colours like red and yellow. The original white ones were not in sight.

When I came home and tried to arrange them in a tall vase, I discovered to my horror the red stains on my hands. It appeared like red ink stains, and that reminded me of those days when fountain pens were in vogue and we used them for our work in school. This time the stains came from the pussy willows, and almost at once, a lesson came to me. Why settle for the fake when you can seek the real thing? In this case, why do you settle for what is man made when God has created in perfection the white pussy  willows?

Yes, this must be the same for  my faith walk. To seek the truth and never settle for less. To accept God’s word in total and never ever compromise the Gospel values. Praise God for his guidance.

Another view

See these flowers blooming

The amaryrillis

I wish all who visit a very prosperous New Year – may you prosper in health, wealth and wisdom.

May you know who you are in the eyes of the Lord of heaven and earth, the one who first loved you, and may you rejoice in his love, peace and joy all the days of your life!

Dearest Lord,

Your word is truth.

Your word sets us free to love you more each day.

May we who have given ourselves to you be never faint-hearted and never daunted since you are our hope.

Happy are we who fear you for on you do we rely and on you do we count for support.

We praise you for watching over us.

You are our powerful protection and our strong support.

You are our screen from the desert wind, our shelter from the midday sun,

our guard against stumbling and our assurance against a fall.

How great you are!

You revive our spirit and brighten our eyes.

You give us healing, life and blessing.

Great is your love.

We praise you and we thank you.

(See Sirach Chapter 34:13-17)

Our Lord has clearly told us that his thoughts and his ways are not the same as our thoughts and our ways. We can never contain him or limit him in any area of life. He alone is in total control. He alone sees to all things, looks into the hearts of each person and allows what is good for each to happen. Yes, the Good Shepherd of our souls knows what will draw a soul closer to him.

So what happened to this woman who made her silent retreat? She found herself deeply consoled and in her entire week, she was simply walking on cloud nine. Could it be possible? How heavenly this experience is! Let it be that I never wake up from this beautiful dream. . . She found that she had fallen in love with the Lord all over again! She heard too the call to live a consecrated life, and she answered yes, yes, yes!

And indeed, this could be the same sentiments for all who live consecrated lives. One never ceases to be amazed by the workings of the Lord. Our amatore, as my Indonesian sisters like to say, love us so. . .  When we choose to live for our Lord solely, we  are really falling in love with God in quite a unique and life giving way… and our desire is to grow in that love.

For those who are still hesitating, let me present you a little challenge to make your life more exciting. I say, ‘Dare to dream!’ We all, like young people, fall in love over and over again. Age is of no consequence. Age matters little to him who first loved us and who constantly seeks to get a response from us.

Be sure that God is still drawing people into falling in love in this unique way. If we cannot sense his calling, it can be that our hearts are occupied. It could also be that we choose to listen to other voices.  Are we wearing blinkers? Such questions demand honesty, and when we can answer them and present our answers to the Lord freely and without reservations, then perhaps we will also have the privilege of being in love all over again. . . This is but a foretaste of that eternal joy that await those who choose to follow him who beckons daily, the one who first loved us.

Here I am, Lord. I come to do your will!

To make sure that I could have all the details, I asked to listen once again to this true story. 

There were once three good friends, each on his/her way on home leave from Thailand. In those years the cheapest airplane was the Aeroflot, and of course, it had to make a stop over at Moscow. One of the travellers , a Spanish priest, was on his way to Madrid, and he was someone who believed in praying for the strengthening of one’s faith. He himself had deep faith and trusted totally in the goodness of the Lord. The other two were nuns, one of whom was going to Paris and the other was going to Amsterdam. The plane was going to take them all to Moscow and then to Paris where two of them had to take different flights to their own destinations. It was, all in all, a long journey.

To complicate matters, the airline did not provide fixed seats for the passengers. It was free seating on a first come first served basis. One therefore needed to be very fast and agile in order to get the best seats. One almost needed to push to get one’s way. For a while, one might even forget to be courteous for that was the way things were: the slow, the old, the weak were bound to lose out.

At the Moscow airport, there were no tunnels to get on to the planes so one had to board a bus that would take one to the plane.  The priest, always using his brains , said : “Let’s get on the bus  last  so that we’d be the first ones out , to go on to the plane !” Everyone  thought that it was an excellent idea and agreed.

But…but …when the three of them  arrived at the plane , the bus opened NOT the door that was in front of them , but the  one at the back , where all those passengers who had got in first were packed !And they were again the first  to get onto the plane…APPARENTLY ! They all went to the Econmy class, filling up every seat that was available. Imagine the disappointment of one of the nuns!

She had looked forward for all three of them to sit together throughout the long flight. However, the priest told her that she was not to worry but to trust in the Lord. The priest was certain that all would be well, and he believed even though everything seemed futile. The nun saw that it was quite obvious that the three of them would probably end up sitting in different places.

At the reaction of the nun’s disappointment, the priest once more said, ” Ye of little faith, just trust!” With the reality facing them, the nun was quite sure that the journey would not be as interesting for each of them since they would not be able to enjoy each other’s company. How could things turn out in their favour? So, what happened?

The three of them  went up the plane last and found that every seat had been taken. There was no  seat left! What would that mean? How could that be? Praise God for His wonderful intervention. No, three seats did not appear from nowhere. No one stood up to offer any of the three his or her seat. But an air stewardess came and she said, “Please come with me.”

Where did the three travellers go? They were led to the small business class section. There were twelve empty seats and our three travellers were the only ones to occupy that section of the plane. Imagine the joy! Imagine the gratitude that welled up  in their hearts! How can one not trust the Lord? How can one say that God does not know what to provide and when to provide?

After that, the whole incident became known as the MOSCOW EVENT. Whenever one of the travellers had any doubts, their thoughts would turn to the way the Lord had intervened that day. Praise God!

Praise God for His tenderness who needs only our faith to make wonders!

And who was the priest in the story? It was Fr Iker!

“I see trees of green, red roses too I see them bloom for me and you And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky Are also on the faces of people going by I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do They’re really saying I love you.

I hear babies cry, I watch them grow They’ll learn much more than I’ll never know And I think to myself what a wonderful world Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world. “

We do live in a wonderful world in so many ways. I look at all that is positive and all that points to what God has called us to do – LOVE, and I am more and more convinced that, no matter what, this world is still a  beautiful one, a wonderful one!

In the winter 2006 edition of JESUITS & FRIENDS, a publication I have been reading for many years now, I remember an article written by Jesuit priest Fr Denis Blackledge who was blessed to  be at Seven Fountains Spirituality Centre for some ten weeks in 2006, and during this time, he actually made a retreat with Fr Iker. I recall now how pleased Fr Iker was to be back in service, and to think that he was then already a sick man.

I quote Fr Denis: “I said my goodbye to Fr IKer on the day I left at the end of July, as he lay very ill on his bed, and he died a few days later. With live-in nursing help the Jesuit community kept him at home as long as he was comfortable, but he had to spend the last few days of his life in hospital, where he died peacefully in early August. The Jesuit community and his many friends – some 300 of them – celebrated his living and dying at his Requiem.”

Fr Iker loved to the very end. As we all know, 31 July is the Feast of St Ignatius, and Fr Iker did  not want to take up time for himself. He moved himself out of the way, out of love, I must add. And he is now resting in peace. For a priest who had taught us to love the Lord, he cannot be ‘out of sight, out of mind’. See the flowers placed at his tombstone. See the people who continue to speak fondly of him to keep alive the memories of him.

Thank you, Lord! What a wonderful world we live in! But more wonderful is knowing that You love us and one day soon, we too will go Home to You to be happy with You forever!

In fact, this most significant Catholic had this wonderful openness that invited me to bare my soul and trust that God would minister to me through him. Yes, I am speaking of a Jesuit priest, Fr Iker. As he was my Retreat Master and spiritual father for several years, I would say that he was someone with whom I shared everything about my life.  Having understood the fact that a Spiritual Director is God’s gift to those who love him and desire to seek his will, I was able to benefit greatly in my many encounters, including my 30-day retreat in 2002, with Fr Iker.

It has often been said that a person’s true character comes out in his unguarded moments. I witnessed this for myself.  I remember once how I had helped to prepare for Mass. There were two cruets, one for water and one for wine. As I was not familiar, I did not realise that there was a red marking for the one that was to hold wine. At the Mass, after the consecration, Fr Iker realised that he had consecrated water and not wine. I clearly saw him taking a sniff to make doubly sure that it really was not wine that he was holding in his hand. Meanwhile, in my mind and in my heart, I was a bit disturbed. Oh dear, what have I done? I almost expected Fr Iker to turn and ask who the culprit was. But he did no such thing. He was too kind, too merciful.

Calmly Fr Iker explained that there had been a mix up of the water and the wine and that it was appropriate for him, according to canon law, to do the consecration all over again. What happened at the end? When Mass was over and all of us were still sitting in the semi circle, I raised my hand and admitted that I had caused the mix up. I clearly told him, “Fr, I’m sorry. It’s my fault.” Fr Iker smiled and very gently dismissed my remark. I was overwhelmed.

My friends who were with me at Mass were impressed. Some retreatants had told us how strict Fr Iker was. I had expected a scolding but received none. I had expected a rebuff but a smile was given me instead. At that point in time, I saw our Lord Jesus in Fr Iker. Yes, this is the other Christ, gentle and loving. It was a genuine mistake. He accepted it and forgave quickly. My respect for him went up a hundredfold! This incident struck me because, if I had been in his position, I would not have kept silence.  I would have reacted somehow. But Fr Iker did not. He taught me that mistakes are mistakes and that I needed to be quick to forgive.

Like good vintage wine that tastes greater with age, so was Fr Iker a person of wisdom. He had had years of listening to the deepest yearnings of the human soul. He had spent his entire life helping many young men and women to discern their vocations.

Fr Iker has made a deep impression on my mind. He was a down to earth person who lived frugally. His homilies were all hand written on recycled paper. He wore second hand shirts, handed down by his brother in law. Once he told me that the retreat centre would be kept simple.  In all my conversations with him, I saw for myself how I too must be true to my own calling as a lay consecrated, to live out the vows simply and faithfully.

In the years to follow and through many more retreats when we shared and sought the will of God, I was to see further evidence of His top priority in life. He never failed to impress upon me the need to seek God’s will and to carry it out joyfully. He mentioned once that even if one ended up sick or in a wheel chair, one could still do the Lord’s will with acceptance, and indeed, this was what he did in the final months of his life on earth.

Fr Iker never failed to impress upon me that the most important relationship one could ever have was with God, and if one had a good relationship with God, one would then be more likely to love others. And I saw for myself how he treated his staff – the secretary, the gardener, the cook and the helpers. His workers at the Retreat Centre stayed on for years for Fr Iker was a champion of social justice and peace as well. He used to tell us retreatants from Singapore that the food from the kitchen tasted so good because his cooks had one very important ingredient – Love.

Yes, this very special Catholic in my life lives on. I still smile when I think of the times I would call to him, “Father…” Instead of answering me, he would smile and say, “Yes, Mother?” It took me quite a while before I would agree to call him simply Iker. I did it because it had become our personal joke. Another point I will never forget is the way Fr Iker would show total detachment. He would usually say, “And so what?” Hearing him say those words with such abandonment gave one a good feeling. He believed that one has to keep living in the freedom of life in the Spirit.

When Fr Iker fell ill, I wrote him some words of consolation. But what he told me in return was that a little suffering was good for the soul. He never complained. He never grumbled. He took it all in his stride. At his own last retreat, it seemed that the Lord had impressed upon him that all was passing, including people. His own personal sharing continues to make an impact on me and every now and then, his words of wisdom come to my mind. I go through my retreat journals and I see how the Lord had used him to guide me through the years. I am so thankful for those years!

His last days saw him cheerful and resigned to the will of God. I was privileged to spend five days with him in 2006 and I saw for myself that nothing, not sickness, not pain, could defeat a man who loved the Lord. He asked only for prayers. And in the end he went home peacefully. He had given his life to God, serving as a priest for more than sixty years, touching the lives of many and giving each one Christ himself. May he rest in peace!

 ‘Enter to worship, depart to serve’ – this is the slogan that one reads at the entrance to the Church of the Holy Spirit, and if one were to pause and reflect, some questions quickly come to mind. Fr Heri encouraged us to find time through the week to reflect on them.

Who do we worship? In our modern world, there are many gods and so we need to be sure that our God is the one we worship, not success, not money, not fame. . .

What have we been doing all these years in our faith journey? Whom do we serve? As Catholics, we have found the Lord. He is here with us. We don’t need to follow the star that the magi followed. The Saviour has come. We need then to follow only  the voice of God in our hearts.

All who meet Jesus become new persons. St Paul says that we become new creations. Since we have met Jesus all this while as Catholics, have we become new persons and are we more and more Christ like each day?

The wise men searched long and hard. They struggled. They were guided by wisdom and they followed the star. They saw, they adored and they gave gifts to Jesus before leaving. What about us? We have received Jesus in Holy Communion so often, for instance. Are we committed to Christ? Do we love him more and more each day? How do we serve him?

So many people are seeking. They don’t know the way. Are we willing to be stars for them? Are we willing to be guides to those walking in darkness and show them how to go to Jesus?

The wise men worshipped Jesus. They knelt before the King of kings. Do we find time to worship the Lord? Do we humble ourselves before him? Have we time for Jesus? Many of us visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. But Jesus is waiting for more of us to go and spend quiet time with him. He would be so happy if more of us could visit him in the Blessed Sacrament.

If we have met Jesus, we must go out and serve him. The wise men brought gold for Jesus is the King of kings. They brought frankincense for he is the High Priest, and they brought myrrh for he died to bring us salvation. What do we bring to Jesus day after day?

26 years ago, when Fr Heri had completed several years of study and training, it was time for his ordination. His Bishop asked him if he was ready to be ordained a Jesuit priest to serve God’s people. Fr Heri replied by saying that he did not feel worthy as he still had many areas to amend and that perhaps he needed to learn more. Upon hearing this, the Bishop chided him by saying that that was being ‘stupid’.

The Bishop told him that after all the study and training, it seemed that Fr Heri  had become self-centred, focussing on himself instead of the Lord. The Bishop told him to look at Jesus, our Saviour and our Lord. We are not to look at ourselves but at Jesus and we are not to be afraid. We can  constantly say to him – I love you. I need you. Help me. I’m tired.

Epiphany marks the end of the Christmas season. Have we celebrated joyfully? Have we celebrated as we ought to? Has this season of Christmas been well spent? There are certain criteria for sure.

We are loved so we can love.

We are given so we can give.

We are blessed so we can bless others.

We are served so we can serve others.  

So are we more loving and more generous?

Are we more forgiving and more ready to serve?

We must ask our Lord to teach us to be more and more like him.  

We have to ask him to teach us to serve and not be served.

Apart from this sermon, I also had the chance to listen to Fr Heri share his rich experiences with the JRS and in the many countries he had been blessed to serve. I had the grace to listen to his vocation story and to hear of the miracles of conversion amongst his family members in Java. One after another accepted the Lord as their Saviour and amongst his relatives, there is also an Ursuline nun. Praise the Lord!

Listening to Fr Heri, I could not help but thank God for raising up so many remarkable Jesuits. In so many of my encounters with them throughout my life as a Catholic, I have to say that they are very special servants of God.  So many of them have been my stars, directing me to Jesus. To God be the glory!